The "F" Word

The preparations for our wedding, especially the part about choosing who to invite, aside from immediate family members, has inevitably led me to some deep examination of the relationships I`ve had with the people I met through the various periods of my life.

A married friend said that writing down your wedding guest list is one of the toughest things to do, and now I agree. Disregarding budget concerns, at some point, you are forced to decide who among those neighbors, classmates, colleagues, etc. would you really love to share your special day with, without any second thoughts or reservations, nor strings attached. At the same time, it behooves you to consider whether those persons whom you think have been special  enough in your life to invite, would reciprocate the same joy and warmth you will extend to them, regardless they could come or not (I`d rather people not come at all if they feel forced to, because that would be so sad, and unnecessary...). It goes the other way around; you also may be totally ignoring people who have considered you as somebody special in their lives, and would have loved to be informed, at the very at least.

There were a few disappointments, which drove me into this whole introspection thing in the first place. I kept asking myself why not-so-good things happen,  whether I have done something wrong along the way...why people I think of so dearly disappoint and hurt. With time I know, I`ll get over it...and learn, and move on.

I am happy to report,though, that for the most part the informing and inviting process was effortless, and the thought that I`d be seeing old friends from different walks of life flocking down  (flying straight!) to Laguna, taking some time off their busy lives just to be there with me already makes me beam. The super typhoon could possibly cut their numbers on Saturday, though, but, right now I`m  already thanking them :). Mwaah, mwaaah!

Some nice words of wisdom on the topic, from Cynthia Bourgeault: 

We can’t command the heart, of course. We can’t pre-screen our friends for potential “forever” status, or impose this expectation as a unilateral requirement. But paradoxically, perhaps, the best way to help all our friendships grow wisely and well is to take responsibility for our own aloneness.